Updates Shmupdates!

I cant believe it's been so long since I updated this thing last. Even that wasn't much of an update.

Well, to compensate, I've just added a Twitter box to the sidebar so you can see I'm still alive, and stalk me, even when I'm not around this so called Bloggersphere.

So what's been happening in the shiny life of I? Well...let me tell ya...

Since last we spoke, I've...won a new tv, moved to a Mac, lost 3 stone, watched CSI Vegas...yes...all of it, discovered Dirty Jobs and fallen in love with Mike Rowe's sarcastic witty banter, added 15 John Candy movies to my collection, started using Twitter, finally got to see Duke Special live, bought a new Camera, dyed my hair bright red (again), decided I got the wrong name on my Giants shirt, managed to have coffee with Lu...twice (she's illusive), remembered how much I love Cadbury Creme Eggs, remembered how much I love Matt, spent new years with some of my bestest friends, started drinking Diet Coke, rediscovered the local music scene, produced an entrance video for the Belfast Giants game nights, persuaded Odyssey staff to remove the 5 year old gum from my season seat, been forced to use iMovie, learned how to light an Aga, chipped a tooth, been let down by people, been let down by myself, panicked about everything, been proud of my work, stood up for myself, felt like I knew what I was doing, found a sleeping pattern...then promptly lost it again, cried at an episode of ER, realised peanutbutter & jelly is a good idea, found the whereabouts of the Doctor that helped save my life when I was 3, chickened out of contacting him, handed my memory over to a whiteboard checklist, been mesmerised by a Snow Dalek, interviewed Paul Sample in his Tighty Whities...twice, become addicted the HOTD games on Wii, managed to lose my season ticket...at home, became an Auntie 3 times, and found a new house.

So I think that's us up to date in a nutshell. Well, mostly anyways. Normal service should resume shortly.

Once Upon a Time...

...there was a young princess, living and working in a beautiful castle in a very shiny land not so far away. The princess didn't normally mind working from her castle, because the walls were reassuringly wide and there were lots of shiny desk toys and a tv to keep her amused when she needed a break.

In fact, all was fine in the Land of Shiny, until one day a giant hammer-monster took up residency in the castle beside the princess. It was rumoured to be the biggest and most fearsome hammer-monster in all the land. The princess didn't know what to do. She had never actually seen this hammer-monster, but every day for the past month she had listened to its mighty roar echoing through the once peaceful walls of her castle.

"Oh no!" she cried, "If I don't get some peace soon, I don't know what I will do!"

New rumours started circulating around the Land of Shiny that this monster not only had a booming roar, but that it also had magical powers. Powers that could make even the strongest of minds explode under its awesome pressure. Soon all the news headlines were full of amazing tales of how this monster had eaten children and made coats from their puppies...but still no one had actually seen this creature.

Each day, like clockwork, the roaring continued from morning to night. The princess wondered what reason this creature could possible have for making such a racket for such a long time?

Days passed until they turned into weeks, and the poor princess's head was starting to spin. How could she work with all this noise? Lack of concentration during the day was topping her stress levels at night.

She had tried sending a pleading letter to the monster, but the roaring didn't stop. The headache just got worse and worse.

Suddenly she sat bolt upright. This couldn't go on any longer. Her eyes were pulsing and something inside her throbbing head snapped.

Leaping to her feet she ran straight out of her castle, across the grounds and over the hammer-monsters drawbridge. By now night had fallen and cast a spell over the monster. She was sure it was asleep.

Quietly she crept inside through a small open window. Everything was dark and still. She carefully cracked open a door to where the monster lay sleeping. There it was. Sleeping. How very nice for it she thought.

It's giant hammer tail lay curled around it. She crept towards it, keeping her mouth closed in case the noise of the intense thumping inside her head would accidentally wake it before it was time.

Her eye twitched as the pain spiked across her forehead. It was time. Carefully she grabbed the giant hammer tail, and beat the noisy monster to death in its sleep. She felt better.

The End.