Belfast Giants Awards Dinner

"Todd Kelman is NOT a sellout!"

Those were the words that rang out across the function room of the La Mon Hotel as Belfast Giants defenseman Todd 'The Killer' Kelman took a swig from his 'refreshingly light, cool & crisp' Coors beer bottle which was kindly handed to him from the general manager of Charles Hurst Used Direct, 'the best used motors in town'. But Todd Kelman is NOT a sellout. So he says anyway...

It must have been about 20 to 8 when we pulled up outside the hotel and made the mad 'nooo I just washed my hair' dash through the rain into the foyer. The place was already buzzing with movement. Players, fans, sponsors and team staff - all dressed to impressed; the girls carefully scrutinizing every aspect of their adversarys peers outfit, whilst the guys spread the word that the bar was open. Sarah and I waited in the hallway until Matt parked the car.

The main room was already packed when we made our way to table 34.

Number 34 is Goalie, Mike 'Mini' Minard's shirt number, and indeed tonight, his table number.He arrived in just after us with his wife, Christine. It was so nice to finally meet her properly. Already seated around our table were Wrighty & Elizabeth, and the Cardwells: Nigel, Kathy & Raj. It was so nice to see everyone all dressed up...for once not in hockey jerseys!

The evening began with a great meal...but that was just for starters. The main course was to be served up by our regular MC, Mr Todd Kelman. Every year he manages to top his last performance as awards night host...and every year his stage entrance somehow seems to top itself.

The Lights go down, the doors swing open, and in growls a 50cc hog scooter with Todd in the saddle dressed as a porn star...er...Hells Angel; Monteith Bowl stuffed in a leather satchel slung over one shoulder. Yes, he dropped (and dented) it again, and no, I have no idea what was goin on in the mustache department, but both he and the Bowl sure were a sight to behold!

He was a fantastic host, and this seasons award winners were:

Players' Player of the Year - Mike Minard (*squees* go Mini!)
Best Forward - George Awada (dance George, dance!)
Best Defenceman - Todd Kelman (...and he even stood in the way of his OWN video!)
Best British Player - Colin Shields (...but...but...who stole that lovely Scottish accent and made him look like David Spade? huh?)
Kids' MVP - Mike Minard (I hear he plays a dynamite Santa)
Unsung Hero - Jason "Taff" Ellery, team Equipment Manager (...and all round squishy guy! awww he was so embarrassed *squee!*)
Favourite Non-Giant - Tony "Toe Knee" Hand (last years coach)
Puck Bunny Award - Todd Kelman (who else? will his reign of terror never cease?!)
Coach's Player of the Year - George Awada & Mike Minard (at this point, obviously drunk from excitement *cough* Mini literally swept George off his feet and carried him up on stage...possibly a little too comfortably...)
MVP - Theo Fleury (like it could have been anyone else!)

...but the highlight of the evening, without a doubt had to be Killer's poem*.

*disclaimer - This transcript is just a rough guess at what might have been said by a smart arsed Giant / porn star / Hell's Angel, or someone posing as a smart arsed Giant / porn star / Hell's Angel, if he or she had made a speech to the leagues 'unsuccessful challengers' that evening, and there is no hard, clear evidence to support this nasty rumour whatsoever...

*cough*

*smirk* ...Maaan, I love that totally randomly suggested poem that never actually really even existed, and certainly wasn't written by a Giant. *happy sigh* =)